Dear church people..I hate church
**I read this open letter a few years back and it recently crossed my desk again. So if you don’t go to church and are reading this, I’m curious to hear your thoughts. If you do go to church and are reading this, I’m curious to hear your thoughts, too.**
Don’t worry you won’t offend me I just would love to hear some honest opinions**
Dear church people,
I recently attended your church. I don’t know why I decided to get up early on a Sunday morning and I’m not sure why exactly I chose this church, but nonetheless, I went. I guess it was because I overheard someone talking about this man named Jesus and he seemed really edgy and from what I gathered, he seemed like a rebel like me. And then I heard that somehow he can help me get rid of all of this junk that is messing up my life. I’m not sure what you church people call it..i guess its “sin” or something. So anyways, yeah, I was compelled by what I overheard, and I didn’t quite hear everything that guy was saying, but he was telling the other person to check out their church. I didn’t catch what church name it was, so I wound up here.
But can I just say, I really hate church. I do. I mean, that Jesus guy sounded really intersting, but I just can’t do the church thing. The building looks nice and all, but when I got inside, I felt like a total outcast. People were just staring at me. I guess you guys don’t do lip rings and punk hair very often.
And those church program things, whatever you call them, they have a cool picture on the front…i guess…and your program thing makes me think that obviously you guys have lots to do around here….but how come I never see you guys around in my neighborhood? My neighbors just had a giant fight and the wife threw all of the husbands stuff out on the front lawn and then she drove off. I helped that guy pick up all of that stuff and we put a few beers back…i think he was trying to forget what happened. We could’ve used some extra help picking that stuff up. Where were you? And I always talk to that lady sitting outside my work building who is asking for food for her kids. Sometimes I try to get some MickeyD’s breakfast for them. Is that something you guys would be interested in helping with?
But anyways, I’m getting off track. So I go in and sit down and some guy mumbles to his wife about me sitting in their seat. I’m really sorry about that. I don’t know who the guy was, but if you know who it is, can you tell them I’m sorry. I really didn’t know. I didn’t see a name tag or anything…did I miss it on the chair somewhere? I’m really sorry, again.
And that music…well, I will say that the guitarist was totally killer and the drums were sweet. I didn’t really know what you guys were all singingabout, I didnt know those songs…but I did see that Jesus guys name a few times, so i tried paying attention. That leader seemed pretty pumped up and trying to get everyone to clap…but I think those people around me were bored with your songs. I dont know them, though, so maybe thats how you’re supposed to respond. Maybe there are rules I don’t know about. Im sure there are. I know that when Im at a concert and im really pumped up about the lyrics, i can’t contain myself. but i guess it is church..so..maybe thats why you stand so still and just stare at those jumbotrons with the words on it.
The speaker dude wasn’t too bad. He seemed like he really believed what he was talkin about. I heard that Jesus guys name again…i’m really curious about him. Do you know who I’m talkin about? Jesus somethin. I need to find out about that guy..do you know where I could find more out? Iknow the speaker guy could help me…he did say something about coming up front if I wanted to know more about Jesus…but no one else went up there..so i’m totally not going up there. are you kidding? those people were all looking around like they were gonna go attack the first person who stood up or somethin. Freaky.
Sorry, but i was just really bored, over all. I’ve gotta know more about this Jesus guy. I didn’t wanna go bug that speaker guy cuz there was a ton of people around him, so I just decided to leave. As I was walking out, I heard some ladies pointing at another lady and they were sayin some pretty rude things. Dude, if church is a place full of clicks and gossip and high school drama, I’m FOR SURE in the wrong place.
All this to say, I guess I’m sure there’s somethin I’m missin…there’s probably somethin I didn’t read somewhere…but I was really just hopin to find out about that Jesus guy. But, sorry, I just don’t do long boring program things around a bunch of people that stare at me and bash their so-called friends.
Maybe that lady asking for food for her kids outside of my work building knows about that Jesus guy. Yeah. Maybe I’ll go ask her tomorrow.
Sorry church people, I just can’t do that church thing you guys do. But hey, if thats your thing, more power to ya.”
The guy/girl who doesn’t go to church